I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
