Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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