RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
