You work out of a Hotel?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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