i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize