She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
