Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Operation Purity has been aborted
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize