I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
