I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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