no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
