Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
