her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
