i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
