Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
