I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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