So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
