Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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