so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
