You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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