I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize