If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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