Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
