To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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