70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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