Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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