He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
