it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
