My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
