ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
