Got a toothbrush?
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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