So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
