how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
