Do you still have your period?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
