billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
