Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
