I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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