he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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