i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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