those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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