yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
