Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
