Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
