Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
