Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
