also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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