My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
