hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
