my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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