Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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