I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
