yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you never un-have a 4some
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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