I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize