i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
