if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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