The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
