i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I touched a dick in church today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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