yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
