There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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