i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
