Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
